The Spotty Whore Picture Show
by Mondie
Summary: Rocky Horror Picture Show // Newsies crossover. Aw, c'mon. I see you shiver with antici ... pation.
1. Science FictionDouble Feature

The Spotty Horror Picture Show

**_Cast List_**

_((Newsie Name ~ Character from RHPS ~ Combined Name for story))_

Davey ~ Dr. Frank-N-Furter ~ Dr. Dave-E-Durter

Kimi ~ Janet Weiss ~ Kimet Nice

Kid Blink ~ Brad Majors ~ Blink Minors

Mush ~ Riff Raff ~ Mush Mash

Mondie ~ Magenta ~ Mondieta

Misprint ~ Columbia ~ Misumbia

Spot Conlon ~ Rocky Horror ~ Spotty Horror

Racetrack ~ Eddie ~ Racey

Bryan Denton ~ Dr. Everett Scott ~ Dr. Dent

Joseph Pulitzer ~ Criminologist ~ Pulitzinologist

Transylvanians ~ Timber, BitterSweet, Gypsy, Jester, Tuffy, Tiger, Moody, Lange, Rumor, Sobes, Moon*Star, Pegasus **If anyone else wants to be a Transylvanian, let me know.**

Ralph and Betty ~ Jack and Shade

Usherette ~ Holiday
    
    Shamelessly Ripped Off From _The Rocky Horror Picture Show by Richard O'Brien_
    
    All the newsies from Disney's movie are … Disney's. Shocking. I know. And all the Transylvanians, plus Shade, Holiday, Mis, Kimi and I, well, we all own ourselves. SO THERE. :P
    
    Chapter 1
    
                   Holiday walked into the Pulitzinologist's office and stood there smugly. Clad in a red sparkly halter top and skin-tight leather pants, she looked amazing. Her black and silver boa only added to the sight. However, the two people seated across from the Pulitzinologist didn't notice her amazing outfit as music began to play. Gaping, the only thing they could focus on were her cherry-red lips, which opened tantalizingly as she began to sing: 
    
    _Michael Rennie was ill_
    
    _The Day the Earth Stood Still_
    
    _But he told us where we stand._
    
    _And Flash Gordon was there_
    
    _In silver underwear,_
    
    _Claude Rains was the Invisible Man._
    
    _Then something went wrong_
    
    _For Fay Wray and King Kong;_
    
    _They got caught in a celluloid jam._
    
    _Then at a deadly pace_
    
    _It Came From... Outer Space._
    
    _And this is how the message ran:_
    
                   As if this were a cue, suddenly five other people, dressed in similar outfits, stepped in behind Holiday. However, the two observers, gawking still, could only see their lips as well. The six began to sing the chorus of the song, throwing in a little shimmying dance number which only the Pulitzinologist, who alone could see past their hypnotizing lips, could enjoy.
    
    _Science fiction, double feature_
    
    _Doctor X will build a creature._
    
    _See androids fighting Blink and Kimet_
    
    _Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet_
    
    _Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh_
    
    _At the late night, double feature, picture show._
    
                   Now Holiday, smiling broadly, shoved the five chorus members back into the hall to begin her next solo verse again.
    
    _I knew Leo G. Carrol_
    
    _Was over a barrel_
    
    _When Tarantula took to the hills._
    
    _And I really got hot_
    
    _When I saw Jeanette Scott_
    
    _Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills._
    
    _Dana Andrews said Prunes_
    
    _Gave him the runes_
    
    _And passing them used lots of skills._
    
    _But When Worlds Collide,_
    
    _Said George Powell to his bride,_
    
    _"I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills,"_
    
    _Like a..._
    
                   Laughing, the five chorus members broke down the door. Holiday scowled, her beautiful red lips becoming quite frightening indeed. The couple sitting in the chairs almost drew back in fright. Then the six began to sing the chorus again, which relaxed the couple into a false sense of security.
    
    _Science fiction, double feature_
    
    _Doctor X will build a creature._
    
    _See androids fighting Blink and Kimet_
    
    _Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet_
    
    _Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh_
    
    _At the late night, double feature, picture show._
    
    _I wanna go_
    
    _Oh Oh Oh_
    
    _To the late night double feature picture show,_
    
    _By RKO,_
    
    _Oh Oh Oh_
    
    _To the late night double feature picture show,_
    
    _In the back row,_
    
    _Oh Oh Oh_
    
    _To the late night double feature picture show!_

          The Pulitzinologist clapped nicely, then shooed Holiday and her crew out of his office. Holiday stuck out her tongue at him, but left somewhat happily.


	2. Dammit Kimet

               The Pulitzinologist looked at the two stunned people sitting across from him, and chuckled. "You haven't seen _anything yet," he warned them. "Here. Watch this." He put a video tape labeled "Jack and Shade's Wedding" into the VCR. The tape had been fast-forwarded to just after the wedding, as everyone spilled out of the church._
    
    *~Videotape~*
    
                   A lady screeched, "Here they come!" as people ran from the church, surrounding an ecstatic Shade and a rather happy Jack, as well.
    
                   The photographer, eyeing the scene, decided that it was suddenly quite a photo op. "Let's get a picture.  Close together now.  The folks and then the grandparents.  Yes, all the close family." He scrutinized everything until they'd moved just right for his taste. "Ahhh, hold that.  Beautiful.  And... smile!  Congratulations!"
    
                   Jack walked over to where Blink stood. "I guess we finally did it, huh." He had a large grin covering his face.
    
                   Blink, a little jealous of Jack's happiness, said, "I don't think there's any doubt about that. You and Shade have been almost inseparable since you met in Dr. Dent's refresher courses."
    
                   Jack laughed. "Well to tell you the truth, Blink, that's the only reason I showed up in the first place." Blink joined into the laughter.
    
                   Shade cried out, holding up her bouquet, "Okay, you guys, this is it."
    
                   Jack smiled lovingly at his blushing bride. "Well, Shade's going to throw the bouquet."
    
                   Shade threw the flowers over her shoulder into the gathering of excited, eligible girls. Unfortunately, Shade had such an arm that she hurled it halfway across the cemetery in the church's yard. All the girls sprinted after it. Luckily, Kimet had wonderful traction in her dress shoes, and she reached the bouquet first.
    
                   Kimet held the flowers above her head, screaming, "I got it!  I got it!" She flashed a grin at her boyfriend, Blink.
    
                   Jack and Blink watched, both chuckling a little. Jack grinned, watching Blink's beautiful girlfriend hugging Shade. "Hey big fella, looks like it could be your turn next, eh?"
    
                   Blink thought to himself about the ring that resided in his pocket. "Who knows," he answered mysteriously. Jack was either too happy or too dense to notice.
    
                   Jack's car came riding up then, a lovely old blue clinker of a car.
    
                   Jack smacked Blink a farewell on the arm, excited to get to the honeymoon suite at the local Holiday Inn. "Well, so long, see you Blink." He hurried over to where his new bride stood. "Guess we better get going now, Shade.  Come on, hop in.  See ya, Blink!" Blink hit the car hood twice, then everyone waved as the car drove off, honking.
    
                   Kimet sighed happily, standing next to Blink. "Oh, Blink, wasn't it wonderful?  Didn't Shade look radiantly beautiful?  I can't believe it. An hour ago she was just plain old Shade Munroe and now... now she's Mrs. Jack Kellyfrancissullivan!"
    
                   Blink smiled. "Yes, Kimet, Jack's a lucky guy." They began to walk through the cemetery. In the back of it shone a sign that read, "Scotton: The Abode of Elation". Kimet, smiling, agreed. She began to play with the bouquet she clutched in her arms.
    
                   Though Blink knew he should propose now, with Kimet already in such a gooey, romantic mood, he couldn't quite bring himself to it. Buying himself time, he lifelessly droned, "Uh, everyone knows that Shade is a wonderful little cook."
    
                   "Yes," Kimet agreed, thinking of how Shade couldn't even boil water without starting a fire. She wondered what was wrong with Blink.
    
                   Blink continued his facade. "Why Jack himself, he'll be in line for a promotion in a year or two."
    
                   Now a bit concerned for Blink's sanity, Kimet decided to humor him. "Yes." Everyone knew Jack would probably work at the same factory for fifty years without a promotion. He wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box.
    
                   Taking a deep breath, Blink, averting his eyes, decided to go for it. "Hey, Kimet."
    
                   Kimet, feeling the excitement in the air, looked up at him happily. "Yes, Blink?"
    
                   Blink swallowed. "I've got something to say."
    
                   Grinning, Kimet only wanted him to continue. She murmured, "Uh- huh," gazing at him.
    
                   He met her eyes for an instant, then looked away again. "I really love the... skillful way... you beat the other girls... to the bride's bouquet."
    
                   Kimet sighed. "Oh, Blink." She felt nothing but love for him.
    
                   Out ran Holiday and her chorus members, this time wearing outfits of teal and green. They began to play instruments. Blink smiled, happy that this was now working out. Looking into Kimet's eyes finally, he began to sing. There were a man and a woman standing on the steps to the church, and they sang backup for him.
    
    _The river is deep but I'll swim it. (Kimet)_
    
    _The future is ours so let's trim it. (Kimet)_
    
    _So please, don't tell me to prim it. (Kimet)_
    
    _I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Kimet, I love you._
    
    _The light was too bright, I'll dim it. (Kimet)_
    
    _There's a fire in my heart and you don't slim it. (Kimet)_
    
    _If there's one fool for you then I am it. (Kimet)_
    
    _I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Kimet, I love you._
    
                   Kimet nearly swooned at Blink's cuteness. She'd never seen a more beautiful guy, even if he _did wear an eyepatch on his left eye and then glasses over it. They ran onto the steps of the church, and then Blink fell down to one knee. Kimet's eyes grew wide as she realized what he was doing. Blink, taking the look on her face as a positive one, continued to sing, holding out the engagement ring.___
    
    _Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker._
    
    _There's three ways that love can grow._
    
    _That's good, bad, or mediocre._
    
    _Oh, K-I-M-E-T I love you so!_
    
                   Blink went to hug Kimet, but she was already running into the church, seeing if there was anyone she could show the ring too. Unfortunately, only the creepy couple who had been singing backup for Blink, and their plain daughter, were there. They seemed disinterested in anything but changing the church over from wedding to funeral decor, though they did sing along with her, backup, for her verse.__
    
    _Oh, it's nicer than Shade Munroe's ring. (Oh Blink)_
    
    _Now we're engaged and I'm tickled pink (Oh Blink)_
    
    _That you can fix the kitchen sink. (Oh Blink)_
    
    _I've one thing to say and that's Blink, I wink, for you too._
    
    _Oh Blink..._
    
                   Blink sang back.
    
    _Oh... dammit!_
    
                   Kimet, adoration shining in her eyes, sang to him too.
    
    _I wink..._
    
                   Blink and Kimet began to practice the wedding march down the aisle as he sang.
    
    _Oh... Kimet._
    
                   Kimet spun around, ecstatic at the turn her life had taken.
    
    _For you._
    
                   Blink couldn't keep the grin off his face as he sang.
    
    _I love you too._
    
                   Together, they sang, looking deep into each other's eyes.
    
    _There's one thing left to do - ah - oo._
    
                   Now Blink sang alone again, with the dull family accompanying him again.
    
    _And that's go see the man who began it. (Kimet)_
    
    _When we met leaving his science class (we skipped it) (Kimet)_
    
    _Made me give you the eye and then pimp it. (Kimet)_
    
    _Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Kimet, I love you._
    
    _Dammit, Kimet._
    
                   Kimet sighed, without meaning to. She'd never known how much she cared about Blink. She couldn't stop herself from singing again.
    
    _Oh Blink, I wink._
    
                   Blink smiled as he sang back.
    
    _Dammit, Kimet._
    
                   Blink and Kimet joined hands, letting emotion take over. The dull family rolled their eyes as the couple sang the last line.
    
    _I love you._
    
                   Holiday and her band snuck out of the church before they were _too terribly noticed._
    
                   Pulitzinologist's TV screen suddenly turned to blue. The couple exchanged glances. This didn't seem to horrible.

          ... If only they could see what they were in store for.


	3. Heres Yer Knife at DaveE's Ham Carving

((Shoutouts at the bottom of this one, kids. Ooooh… variety.))

Spotty Whore Picture Show

Chapter 3

((Yes, the title changed… Kimi and I called it the Spotty Whore Picture Show for a while, but we decided it would be rude of us to not let other partake in the hilariousness of … us. So now you all may join in our cleverness and bow down and worship us and our magic chickens of love!))

((Mis… haha, this song's for you.))

            The Pulitzinologist smiled at the young couple as he picked up his remote control. "I would like, ah, if I may, ...to take you on a strange journey. It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Blink Minors and his fiancée Kimet Nice, two young, ordinary, healthy kids, left Denton that late November evening, to visit a Dr. Dent, ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them.  It's true there were dark storm clouds, heavy, black, and pendulous, towards which they were driving.  It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of some air, but, uh, they being normal kids and, on a night out... well, they were not going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening. On a night out... it was a night out they were going to remember... for a very long time. I, being the truly evil and devious human being I am, used my psychic powers and knew what was going to happen, and I fixed a surveillance camera which is of strangely excellent quality for this time period on the shoulders of a man who wore an invisibility cloak so no one could see him. Quite astounding, really. Let's take a look at our handsome couple, shall we?" With that, he clicked the play button, and the blue screen turned to the dark interior of a car where Kimet and Blink were chatting, listening to the radio.

            Kimet looked alarmed after a moment, as a motorcycle went roaring past. "Golly Moses, that's the third motorcycle that's passed us.  They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with the weather and all." She shivered and pulled her cardigan more tightly over her shoulders.

            Blink sighed and fogged up his glasses. "Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type." He took them off and rubbed them on his macho sweater vest, which of course temporarily blinded him (the guy only HAS one good eye anyhow) and took both of his hands off the wheel. Kimet, however, was used to this, having ridden many-a-times with her previous daredevil boyfriends, and calmly reached over and grabbed the steering wheel.

            A fun pop ditty came on the radio, and for about half a minute Kimet, still steering, and Blink, still cleaning his glasses, sang and bopped along merrily. Then Blink put on his glasses and looked alarmed. Kimet, fearing his glasses were fogged forever, clutched his arm and asked, "What's the matter, Blinky darling?"

            Blink looked less concerned about his glasses and more concerned about the road. "Hmmm… we must have taken the wrong fork three hours ago."

            Kimet looked confused. "Oh, but where did that motorcyclist come from? It was straight along this path, and I should know, because I was the one steering!"

            Blink had no answer, and he scratched his chin. "Hmmm... well, I guess we'll just have to turn back."

            At that moment, a loud bang made the entire car shudder.

            Kimet, always one for stating the obvious, shouted, "Oh! I heard a bang!"

            Blink scowled. "We must have a blowout.  DAMMIT!  I knew I should have gotten that spare tire fixed." Kimet nodded. Blink sighed. "Well, you just stay here and keep warm and I'll go for help."

            Kimet, knowing of Blink's incompacity for directions and poor eyesight, was obviously concerned. "But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?"

            "Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles?  Maybe they have a telephone I could use." Blink nodded happily with his intellect and opened his car door.

            "I'm going with you." The voice startled him, and he looked over at his fiancée, who stubbornly unbuckled her seatbelt.

            Blink shook his head. "Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting wet."

            Kimet insisted, "I'm coming with you! You know you can't see a thing in the dark. Besides, darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman, and you might never come back again." Both chuckled, and headed through the rain to the castle. Blink kicked at the tire as he passed, just for good measure.

            Holiday grinned as she prepared for her entrance into Chapter 3. She gathered up her band hastily, and they waited on the lawn of Dave-E's castle.

            As they approached the castle, the man holding the camera let out a "Holy shit!" That's because the castle was made all of … knives.

            Kimet, looking petrified from all the rain and lightning, began to sing. "In the velvet darkness of the blackest night, burning bright, there's a guiding star. No matter what or who you are…"

            Blink joined in the song. "Here's yer knife..."

            Holiday's band harmonized in their singing: "Over at Dave-E's Ham Carvings."

            Blink and Kimet sang, "Here's yer knife..."

            Holiday's band crooned, "Shining in the kitchen sink..."

            "Here's yer knife, knife in the birthday cake of everybody's life." Kimet and Blink ventured further on, advancing to the castle, clinging to each other in fright and cold.

            Mush Mash was up in his tower, and he began singing back. "The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming. Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming into my life.  Into my life..."

            "Here's yer knife..." sang Kimet and Blink.

            "Over with Dave-E's Ham Carvings," sang back Holiday's gang.

            Kimet and Blink continued, still unaware of the band: "Here's yer knife..."

            "Shining in the kitchen sink. Here's yer knife, yer knife…" continued the band.

            Blink and Kimet finally made it to the steps of the palace. Gulping in a breath, they sang, "...in the birthday cake of everybody's life." Then Blink raised a shaking hand and knocked on the castle doors (which, luckily, were made of plastic knives, not the butcher ones used for the rest of the castle).

Shoutouts…

In case anyone cared, I'm listening to a downloaded MP3 of the Time Warp right now. HOO HA!

**Gypsy** ~ Thank you so much! More is here now. Thanks for the TWO reviews!!!

**Aki** ~ More Untouchables is coming, of course! LOL. 

**Lange** ~ You've never seen Rocky Horror Picture Show??? What's WRONG with you!? LOL j/j, but seriously, go watch it! It's so wonderful. Thanks for reviewing anyhow! :D Where ya been, I haven't seen you in a while!

**Blinks-Tiger** ~ LOL have you not seen Rocky Horror either? Cuz you'd know what's gonna happen to them if you've seen it… SUCH a great little movie. It's what we like to call a cult classic… MUCH like Newsies! So see, there is SOME basis for me writing this… just not much of one. Haha!

**Maniac Conlon** ~ Thanks! I love RHPS too. It's like Newsies, you either love it or you hate it. I choose to love both. Ha!

**I Weep For The Future** ~ Hahaha! I found your review particularly funny. Not sure if I was supposed to, but… chill out! What do you mean by Mary Sues in Rocky Horror? How can you PUT Mary Sues in Rocky Horror? And since all my characters are modeled after the characters in the movie, then if I have Mary Sues, then there are Mary Sues in the movie… **Mondie is confused** Anyhow, if it truly disturbs you so much, don't read it. **Mondie shrugs** I didn't force ya to! Anyhow, thanks for the review.

**Misprint** ~ WOW! You get the Reviewer of the Year award. Thanks for everything sweetie! I can't wait for the time warp either. Me and Mushy Darling dancing around… ah, it's gonna be beautiful. I do so love story incest… HERE'S YER RIFLE!

**kimimay85** ~ HERE YA GO! Finally! Hahahahaha this made me giggle… sorry it took so long hun!!! I'll try to do better.

**Pegasus **~ Thanks hun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss you!!!!!! Where ya been, kid?

**rumor** ~ Thanks! You're too sweet. Yes, the Pulitzinologist IS a bit creepy… bit? I mean a ton. But so's Pulitzer.

**Fictionhobbit** ~ Sure, go right ahead and put up your version. Let's cover the Newsies/Rocky Horror aspect to death! Maybe Mis will get up her version too and we'll take over ff.net!

**Court Jester** ~ Haha, I'm glad you're so excited. Thanks for the review!

**SilverMoonGoddess** ~ Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL, everyone has such great Rocky stories… wonderful! Thanks for the reviews!

**bittersweet** ~ I adore thee also, Sarah!!!!! I miss you!!!!!!!!!!

**Lisa** ~ Thanks!!!!!!!!!! You're too kind to me, Lis, too kind. ;D


	4. The Time Warp

**Shoutouts!**

**Maniac Conlon** )( Camel Child? Heh heh! You crack me up, Timby. Sorry that Shawn tickles you all the time? I like the name Shawn though. How about you email me, huh? I don't have your email in my new addy book. It makes me sad. :( See, I'm sad. LOLOL! Anyhow. Thanks for the review hun!

**kimimay85** )( Haha, I'm glad you fell out of your chair… okay, so you most likely didn't really… but ah well. This chappy's for you! Since you updated Band Camp for me. HOO HA! It's not very good, but I made myself write it. So yeah. There ya go. Here's yer knife.

**misprint** )( I know, I know, my genius in the last chapter is going to go unmatched for the rest of this story. I couldn't think of like ANY funny line to use instead of Time Warp, plus I love the dance in this, so I only changed a few things in the song this time. Your part, I changed. It makes me giggle even more now. Especially the part about the ducks… I was typing trucks and I was like, that looks like ducks and then I just typed ducks without meaning to… but it's funny… anyhow. I gave ya suspenders. And Mush wears knickers! Eat that! But yes, I'm so glad you loved the "Here's yer kniiiiiiiiiiiiife" of the last chappy! Me too! I was totally singing it for days. Which gets ya some pretty weird looks, let me tell you. Oh, and don't worry, Davey in his tighty whities will be strutting his stuff soon enough. Mis, you crack me up!!!!!!!!!!

**rumor** )( Haha, thanks goilie! Refilling the salt and pepper shakers is, I think, the best part of being a busser… cuz by that time it's all late and so you don't have to rush around cuz you're just waiting for a few tables to finish up… and you can sit down to fill them up… it's nice. :D Haha! Thanks for the review!

**SilverMoonGoddess** )( Happy birthday party a month late! LOL I'm almost on time… not… anyhow. Thanks for the reviewing, and yay for making people watch Rocky! I enjoy forcing people to watch Newsies. It makes me laugh.

**Aki** )( Thank you!!!!!!!!! LOL! Actually, I'm updating Untouchables tonight too… weird.

**bittersweet** )( Does the new kid in your school dress up in lingerie? If so, that is too cool for words and he is probably going to be suspended. I tried to make a new diary the other day, but FOD was being retarded and wouldn't let me do anything but read people's diaries. I couldn't even leave notes. So I went to check my email instead. haha!

**Shade of Temair** )( I take it, then, that you enjoyed it. Perhaps.

**falco** )( Hahaha! Thanks! Untouchables is being updated! Down! Sit! Stay!

The Spotty Whore Picture Show Chapter 4

The Pulitzenologist smiled at the young couple, still occupying his office. "And so," he droned, smiling a twisted little smirk, "it seemed that fortune had smiled on Blink and Kimet and that they had found the assistance that their plight required.  ...Or had they?" He put in a new video tape, and everyone sat back to watch the show.

Kimet shivered. "Blink, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened..." She pouted, just in case he missed the whining tone in her voice.

Blink wasn't to be easily swayed, however. "Just a moment, Kimet, they might have a phone!" he hissed, as he knocked on the door. It was opened immediately by a man with long, stringy brown hair and a skeletal face. He smiled at them charmingly.

"Hello," he droned, his smile growing wider.

Blink felt an immediate kinship growing. "Hi!" he exclaimed, shaking the man's hand. "My name is Blink Minors, and this is my fiancee, Kimet Nice." Kimet smiled, but it was a bit strained in comparison to the men's. Blink continued, "I wonder if you could help us. You see, our car broke down a few miles up the road... do you have a phone we might use?"

The man looked a bit confused as he countered, "You're wet."

Kimet nodded, and spoke to the dirty man as if she were talking to a five-year old: "Yes - it's raining."

Blink agreed.

The man seemed to think this over, then stepped aside, holding the door open wider. "I think you'd better come inside."

"You're too kind," Kimet told him. The two stepped inside the castle made of knives, and Kimet immediately clung to Blink. There were all sorts of other torture devices strung up on the walls, such as machetes of doom and slingshots. "Oh Blink," she whimpered, so that the man with the stringy hair couldn't hear her, "I'm frightened. What kind of a place is this?"

Blink provided the necessary answer with all the calmness of a woman in a bubblebath. "Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos." Kimet nodded, knowing this was probably truth.

The man stepped back into sight, and this time he was wearing a pair of knickers and a green shirt. "This way," he said, curling his spindly fingers in a beckoning gesture. The sounds of laughter suddenly emerged from a room behind a door that was covered in cannonballs.

Kimet was instantly intrigued. "Are you having a party?" she wondered ecstatically, her eyes wide. She simply adored parties.

The man smiled. "You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the master's affairs." His smile seemed to grow as he managed to elude questioning on the precise nature of the affair.

"Oh, lucky him," said Kimet hesitantly. She still didn't trust this man.

A woman with frizzy hair teased to its extreme point suddenly jumped from the chandelier on the ceiling. She cackled, "You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky!" Kimet gasped in surprise as this new creature, known as Mondieta, cackled loudly.

Holiday and her band hustled out of a closet decorated with samurai swords, and began to play the hesitant beat of a song that has lived in infamy since its debut.

Mush Mash, which is what the butler is called, suddenly began to dance around, despite his limp (which, Kimet figured, he probably got from some of the arms on display on the castle's walls). The camera man hustled around, trying to get the best shot, as Mush Mash began to sing. "It's astounding," he sang silkily, "time is fleeting; madness takes its toll. But listen closely..."

Mondieta, circling Kimet and Blink, much to their discomfort, sang forth, "Not for very much longer."

Mush Mash smiled at her as he took over his song again. "I've got to keep control." Mondieta smiled back, allowing him full power. Mush Mash burst out loudly, "I remember doing the time-warp… Drinking those moments when the blackness would hit me…"

Mondieta now joined in, "And a void would be calling..."

Suddenly, the doors that were smothered in cannonballs were shoved open. Inside stood Timber, BitterSweet, Gypsy, Jester, Tuffy, Tiger, and Moody, who all struck definitive poses as they shouted, "Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again!" 

The Pulitzenologist stood up in his office. This was his favorite part of the whole video. "It's just a jump to the left," he sang.

As if they could hear him, everyone in the video had paused until he finished shouting his command, then they continued: "And then a step to the right!"

Continuing, the Pulitzenologist commanded, "With your hands on your hips,"

"You bring your knees in tight," everyone sang back. "But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane! Let's do the time-warp again! Let's do the time-warp again!"

Mondieta popped up behind Kimet and Blink, who were looking more than a little frightened. It was actually silly for them to feel so imposed upon, because they had already been singing throughout the other three chapters. That didn't seem to occur to them, though, as Mondieta sang huskily, "Mush Mash is so dreamy, oh fantasy free me! Since he can't see me, no, not at all. In another dimension, with somewhat cruel intentions, well-secluded, I see all."

Mush Mash determined it was time to take his song back, and he did so. "With a bit of a back flip," he sang, while doing a backflip to accompany the words.

"You're into the time slip," Mondieta crowed back.

Mush Mash cackled, "And nothing can ever be the same."

"You're spaced out on sensation," Mondie said, joining hands with Mush Mash and looking at him as if in awe.

He sang back to her, high as Prince: "Like you're under sedation!"

Everyone joined back in, "Let's do the time-warp again! Let's do the time-warp again!"

A girl came cartwheeling out, wearing a gold sparkly tapdancing outfit with red ruby slippers and a red sparkly newsie cap, with matching suspenders. She can only be described as Misumbia. Misumbia sang, "Well I was walking down the street just a-trying ta think, when this hunk of a guy gave me a gambler's wink! He shook me up, he took me by surprise: he was protesting pickup trucks and ducks with too many eyes! He stared at me and I felt a change…. Time meant nothing, never would again!" As she sang, she thought achingly of Racey, and then realized it was nearly time for her big tapdancing number, which she promptly went into.

The merriment and singing carried on for quite some time, with the Pulitzinologist, Mondieta, Mush Mash, Misumbia, and all of the random guests dancing and singing the chorus over and over. They had dance movements that went along, and it seemed that they had rehearsed for months. Finally, Holiday grew tired of playing the same thing, and cut off her band. They snuck back into their closet. All of the party guests and the three featured singers had struck poses, and seemed to be waiting for applause from Kimet and Blink.

Kimet elbowed her fiance. "Blink, say something."

Blink smiled disarmingly. "Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?"

Kimet clucked her tongue, and rolled her eyes that her future husband was such a dork. Then she remembered his glasses over his eyepatch, and remembered that it shouldn't have been too much of a surprise that he was one.


End file.
